Addicted to Kimchi.

I have been here for a month now. Does it feel like a month to you? To me it feels like about two weeks.

And I really am addicted to Kimchi. I just bought a bunch of it for my fridge so I can have it when I need it-- don't know what I'm going to do when I can't get it in the states.

I haven't been able to sleep at all. I just lay in bed all night, or if i do manage to fall asleep i wake up at about 4am every morning and don't know what to do. Does anyone know if it's normal for jet-lag to last a month?

So, i mentioned to someone a bit ago that i think it's cool how everyone here follows the rules. Normally I wouldn't think that was so 'cool' but it kind of is here. I have only seen a handful of police officers. People are all fairly nice and helpful, there is no bullying, cruelty, etc. At least that I have seen.. Pedestrians even wait patiently for the lights to change. These people take pride in their country very seriously. Seoul, for example ,was almost completely leveled in the Korean War just over 50 years ago and since then has been built into this immense metropolis.. it proves without a doubt how committed these people are to carrying on their traditions. Adults work usually 6 days a week, 12 hours a day and their children go to school for the same. What I find really interesting is that now many Koreans ever actually leave Korea, despite the current trend of learning English. When i ride the subway I am usually the only foreigner on the car, however crowded. It has to be one of the most homogenous areas in the world.. (or maybe I'm just used to the American crucible.) Anyway, it's comforting to be able to feel that you can trust most people. Take tipping-- they don't tip ANYWHERE here and if you try to tip in a restaurant by just leaving money on the table, they will literally chase you down the street thinking you forgot it. I have heard tell that if you leave your wallet on a park bench, the odds are good that it will still be there in six hours. And if not it will show up in your mailbox.

I mentioned i hadn't seen many police because i don't think they are necessary. But, a few weeks ago there was some white 40 year old in a club getting drunk and out of hand, as soon as he kicked this random guy we decided to change venues, and not 30 seconds after we walked out the front door came 3 0r 4 thick, non-uniformed Korean dudes with sticks to escort the poor man out. Some kind of mafia that takes care of local businesses? Interesting.

School is up and down. i still love my afternoon kids.. they understand for the most part and listen to me. The kindergarteners I may never get used to. I just don't understand how i can get by when they only understand a few things. I can't even begin to fathom how many times I say 'listen to teacher' 'don't fight' 'be quiet' 'no hitting', etc. in a given day. I am already starting to lose my voice. And the days seem long, but I have also never had a real job so what do I know about anything.

I don't have a lot of energy right now to go out much in the week, save for the Pens games.. but i try to take it to the limit on weekends. It'll be a lot of fun here when I get paid, and I have a whole week off at the end of June. Might try to take a trip down to Busan, a southern city about 5 hours away, or just go rent a cheap hotel on the west coast close to Seoul. Dunno. I was hoping i would get to choose when my 2-week breaks were but they are designated end of June and around Christmas. After Christmas I still have 4 months left...

When I get back I am planning a motorcycle trip or two, so if anyone wants to go along, you should work on getting a motorcycle license/motorcycle. I want to go see Newfoundland and then drive across the U.S. Should be fun and dangerous-- ooh lala.

Presently, I am enjoying living alone in my own little place. I have neighbors and sidewalks, alleys and corner-stores, windows, a bathroom, kitchen, and my very own bed that I sleep in every night. Sometimes I lay in it and read. And a plant-- I have a plant. I'm considering having a dog friend live with me in the near future. I do my dishes and sweep the floor. I do my laundry and let it dry and then I put it away. I have coffee in the mornings and listen to music while I get dressed. I go to work and come back home again. I sit here and write.

I have been doing an impressive amount of pushups daily, the number of which increases weekly. I am a little sick right now but hope to begin my running plan on Saturday.

Not dating anybody now because, well, "girlfriends are expensive."--Jeff Craig.

Speaking of J.C., if anyone from the restaurant is reading this (you better be) I need a few things. The first is gossip. All of it or at least the good stuff. I know I have other things to worry about but I have to know what's going on there.. come on my TV is broken and I need the drama. The second is either Liz's address or Geoff's email or both. I promised Liz a postcard when I send them out (August Henry will get one too) and Geoff an email. How is Lisa's baby? Everything okay? Get Verni on the horn and make her type. Blaire?

How is everybody? If anyone sees Abby Fudor, please remind her that it was ME who moved to Korea and not her so she has no excuse not to return my messages.

This is my address if you are feeling writey.. I promise all letters will be reciprocated.

John Steffenauer

c/o English Friends Academy

2F Hanjin Town B/D

346 Haengdang-dong, Seongdong-gu

Seoul, South Korea, 133-070

Eh, that'll do you for now.

Think of me always.

Love,

John.

Taking It to the Limit; Volume 1

It's Thursday, May 22nd, and I have been here for a little over three weeks. 'Here' being Seoul, South Korea. About a seven minute walk from the Singeumho Station to be exact.

I know a lot of you were expecting personalized snail-mail love letters on hand-made stationary in your mailbox every morning and all I can say is that I have not forsaken you. I have been busy and, on top of that, trying to be in the moment here and enjoy it for what it is and not constantly pretend that I am home. That would make for a long year. I mean, I write a lot to my parents, but each day that went by made it harder to stop and look back and summarize everything that has happened here since I arrived and send out one mass letter. Finally, here I am on a Thursday night-- about to start another weekend-- feeling stressed out more than usual and couldn't figure out why. I realized it was because you were all waiting patiently at home for some information or a reason to think that I was okay and I wasn't taking care of you. I can feel you halfway around the world and I'm sorry. So, I decided to sit down and start typing and, wow, here we are.

It's actually great here, I'm just going through a stupid little homesick phase. Honestly, here are the bad parts that I can think of:

-The mosquitos and they are only going to get worse as the summer heats up. I'm dreading it.

-My TV is broken, which isn't that big of a deal. I mean, I'm not pretentious, I watch TV if it is there. I still leave my house and do things-- but sometimes it's nice to get ready in the morning with the news on or something. Or lay awake in bed and relax with some Korean baseball on. There are some English channels.. Discovery sometimes and a sports channel that plays only Yankees and Dodgers games and a movie here and there. Korean TV, with or without the language barrier, is awful. The collective sense of humor here is underdeveloped to say the least. I watched a lot of TV the first few days I was here when the school had me put up in a love motel for three days before my apartment was free and I didn't have much to do. Most of their late-night programming is like... dating game-shows. And once in a while someone would get a bucket of ping-pong balls dumped on them. And all the guys looked nervous. And maybe there would be a sound-effect of something like "BOING!" Or a man dressed as a woman. Or in an animal costume. It's like a middle-school class where you were put into groups but everybody in your group didn't know each other and was un-funny to begin with and you still had to come up with a funny skit in like five minutes. Sucks.

-Now, the worst part about this job and my life at the moment. The kindergarteners. I don't know if I can handle it for a year. One of them, I won't mention names, is the devil. One of them you can look at and he/she will be fine, happy, coloring away... then you blink and he/she is bawling about nothing and you can't stop it. One is three years old (most are 6) and can not understand what I am saying ever and on top of that, tries to stick his fingers in my butt when I'm not looking. As some of you have heard, i teach gym and science to the kindergarteners. Yeah, what a hoot. I can't bitch too hard because some of the other teachers may be reading this and I will admit, I do have a great schedule. My problem is the school gives us about 5 minutes of material and we have to stretch that into an hour over and over again throughout the week. With no teaching experience and about a day of training I was alone in a room with kindergarteners all in my FACE.

-It kind of sucks not being able to talk to anyone ever. I was told that most Koreans speak English. Untrue. Completely. Nobody speaks English but the Korean teachers at my school and Westerners. Some Koreans can communicate (which is more than I can say for my korean at the moment) but it's not common. You learn how to go to restaurants with pictures and just point. I have also realized just how good I am at charades. And Pictionary in class, they can't stump me.

Now, the good points:

-I have my own apartment that I don't pay for. It aint the Ritz but it's home. And apparently I have a pretty big apartment compared to the other teachers.

-The night life is amazing. Cheap and exciting and stays open until the sun comes up. Not that I have much time or energy for that but it's there for the weekends. More on that later.

-When I do get paid I will be living comfortably.-Among other things (I'm trying to wrap this up) i will be home in less than a year now. That's eleven months. Not bad. I hope you're all there when I get back.

To finish the night out-- A friend requested that I start this blog while i was waiting for the Tokyo plane in the airport. I wrote something and I hate it. But, I said I would so here it is... Enjoy and God Bless.

Btw, I have a million pictures up on my myspace if you haven't seen them. They will be here when i get around to it.

Now That’s What I Call ‘Taking It to the Limit’ Vol. 1:

“You’re what?”

“You’re moving to… Korea?”

“Why??”

“Do you even speak Korean?”

Well, good friends, here I am at ‘The Lodge’ in the beautiful Minneapolis - St. Paul airport enjoying a ten dollar ‘Mile High Bloody Mary’ while I wait for my long, LONG flight to first Japan and, eventually, Seoul, South Korea; and I can safely say to you at this point.. there ain’t no turnin’ back now.

And no I don’t speak Korean.

Isn’t it just the story of my life—I sit down and strike up a very nice conversation with a pretty girl who is drinking a glass of wine and she has to go catch her flight after like 5 minutes. I mean I was cool and everything.

Anyway, I have about 4 ½ hours to kill and I have just now at this moment decided to get it all in one fell swoop and stick it out here at the Lodge! Drinks for everybody!

At this awesomely surreal moment, which is the culmination of an even more mind-numbingly surreal week in my bizarre life, I would like to make a personal pact with you, reader: I hereby swear to keep on being the weirdo that I am- while I blog about it on a hopefully semi-regular basis- if you promise to keep on loving me the way I know you do and read it. I mean, I will let you in if 'in' is indeed where you would like to go. I think that’s a pretty sweet deal.

Allow me to start at the beginning. Where it all BEGAN. The START. Ironically, I hardly remember making the decision to do this. I remember sitting in front of a fire I made in the living room fire-place with my Mum and mentioning that it was a possibility and an option that would rival grad-school at this moment in my life. So, we Googled “teach English abroad” or some such choice and order of words, and so the ball started on down the hill.

Now, a lot of you have asked me, “But John, why Korea? Why not go to Japan or Prague or some retarded place like that?”I chose Korea because I have always wanted to see that part of our world and Korea is supposedly one of the more Western-friendly countries in it. It boasts an extremely low crime rate for a city its size (Seoul is HUGE look it up) and AND the Koreans are generally peaceful, friendly, and willing to help. All characteristics I admire.Simply put, I became drawn to their world. I couldn’t help but think about it- and when I did, I smiled and glowed and started rambling. And those of you who know me well should know that I only gush at the mouth like that when I am either genuinely happy—or, genuinely happy’s evil twin brother… drunk.

A couple of deal-breakers that made this opportunity too good to pass up:

1.) They pay for air-fare. Do you think I honestly could have saved up enough money waiting tables and spending the way I was to pay for a plane ticket of this magnitude?! No, dog, it’s on them.

2.) They also pay for my apartment. I live alone in Seoul. I can walk to work.

3.) I get to goof around with kids all day long.

4.) It gave me a reason to stock up on khakis and colored polo short-sleeves. I plan on dressing like a dork every day.

5.) On top of air-fare and rent, I’m getting paid salary to have the adventure I have always wanted. Alone on an alien planet… you don’t have to worry about money or stupid bullshit like traffic or looking cool… just go and do your thing, Johnny, life is sweet. Just look cool while you do it.

6.) I think what really put me over the edge with Seoul was that I know some people over there now.So, anyway, not quite ALONE on an alien planet I guess but you get the idea…

7.) There is an Ultimate Frisbee club that meets on Sundays near my place. Wait’ll they get a load a me.

But, it’s tough, man. I’ve been having a lot of great fun with a lot of great friends lately. You know, takin’ it to the limit. Mixing it up. The August Henry’s Party was pretty stellar. I love my former co-workers. The Pens are on fire. My family is great. I’m in love. I had to go.

Whew!

Well, friends, I think I need to hit ‘save’ and walk away for a bit. Plus, I need to focus on drinking so I can be as obnoxious as possible when I do get on the plane.As for all of you—do me a favor and look out for each other and try not to burn the place down while I’m gone.

An-nyeong-hi-kye-se-yo, bitches!

-Johnny.

(Thanks for reading... more when I feel like it.)